As a Medium I often refer to myself as a guest (translator) at other peoples family reunions. But from time to time, I am not just acting as a translator, but as a therapist helping family members on both side of the veil heal. This is a profound experience and one that I takes my gift to a higher level…where I am working as both Medium and Healer simultaneously. This happens more often then you would think, as often people are unable to deal with their differences before someone dies. Sometimes it takes death for a soul to see their life and lessons clearly. While alive we are often consumed with the need to be right, or overwhelmed by emotion and unable to see both sides of a story. This is a lesson I know personally as I did not speak to my father for 13 years….13 years that I now see as a waste of time, a loss that I will never be able to get back. I do not mourn it, but I do see it for the loss that it is. I was lucky enough to heal the wounds between us before he passed and we were given 10 years to make right what was wronged and clear the crap from our Ancestral line.
What are Ancestral Wounds?
Ancestral wounds are those that get carried out through generation after generation…they are often altered slightly and sometimes people don’t even realize they are repeating the same damage over and over again, generation after generation. I recently did a Seance with a beautiful family who had lost a granddaughter & sister at a young age. She had died at her own hands, but not through suicide. Her constant abuse of her body had finally taken her life. She was not an alcoholic or a drug addict, but simply had eaten way too much. In the end her heart could not take the abuse anymore and she passed. I found her story to be one that truly touched the core of Ancestral wounding for she had carried on a line of self hatred that had been carried down through the generations. She was not the first in her family, but hopefully she will be the last. When her family came to my table it was her grandfather who first came through. He had deep apologies for the abuse he had put his family through living with him and his alcoholism. He went on in detail and by communicating with him I was able to see how much he had hated himself and used that hate to lash out at others. He talked about his son and how he too carried the deep self hatred, and continued the ancestral pattern of self abuse and hatred. Like his father he was an alcoholic who took his anger out on those who loved him most. The daughter who was the Star of the Seance (the one the family had traveled so far to hear from) was not an Alcoholic nor was she abusive to others. She saved her hatred for herself and she turned to food instead of alcohol. In her life she could not see that her behaviors and mental dialog were kindred to that of her father & grandfather….it took death for her to see these things. She was trapped in the cycle of abuse and carried the families Ancestral Wounds like those who had walked before her. I was honored to work with this Spirit/Young Women, she had such great compassion and really wanted to make sure that her siblings knew that they had to stop this cycle so that it was not carried through to the generations to come.
How do we break Ancestral Wounds?
First and foremost we need to be aware that they are there. My family has a long line of Alcoholism, particularly in the men of my family. As a young girl when I began experimenting with Alcohol myself I made a pledge to myself that I would not drink if I was angry or sad. This pledge was made with the knowledge that my family members had turned to Alcohol with their problems, something I did not want to do…for life is a balance of light and dark, filled with sorrow and hardship just as it is love and blessings. Like I said identification is the first step, the second step is too stop hiding it. The funny thing about Ancestral wounds as they are often the most staunchly guarded. Somewhere in the back of our mind we believe that if we don’t talk about the wound it will go away. But that is like saying if I ignore the infection in my arm it will go away…No, not true. The infection left untended is going to fester and cause a lot more problems then if it is looked at and cleaned up. So the second step is to bring it out into the light of day and clean it up.
Cleaning the wounds before the infection can spread-
Ancestral Wounds come in all shapes and sizes. My sister discovered in a recent journey that she was carrying a Wound from my great, great grandmother Cora/Little Beaver. Little Beaver had left the Blackfeet Reservation, she had traveled from Montana into Canada and Eastward where she married my grandfather an Irishman working as a Mounty. She did not want to leave her people, but was told that it was for the good and so she made the deep sacrifice. My sister is someone who has always put herself at the service of others and often sacrificed herself in the process. Discovering that this was something she had carried over in her blood from Cora allowed her to disconnect from the ownership of it. She no longer had to carry on as if her life was simply to take care of other peoples needs. Knowledge is power my friends, when we know where something comes from we can choose whether it still serves us or not. Effort is needed and we often need reminders that this is no longer ours to carry, but we can clean up our bloodline. It truly comes down to making a conscious decision that you will no longer carry the burden and that you will exert effort to see that it is not carried forward through your blood. The effort comes primarily in thoughtfulness. We need to be thoughtful of our actions and our words. Little ones are constantly learning from our actions and words.
How are Ancestral Wounds carried forward?
I have put a lot of thought into this one and I believe there are many factors that take place. One is genetics….like all other beings we carry code in our DNA that not only determines how we will look and what medical conditions we will have, but personality traits and lessons. Scientist have been talking about this one a lot lately, they are starting to notice that people like animals can have personality traits breed into them. This inbreed mannerism shows when you come in contact with children not raised by their biological parent and watch them use the same facial expressions or body movements of that parent. I have seen it personally and it is awe inspiring. My thought is that deep emotional moments and patterns are shadowed into our DNA, allowing a resonance to be carried through in our blood.
Another factor is repetitive exposure. When we experience something over and over again we begin to own it. So when we watch our mother tell herself she is fat and ugly we begin to see ourselves as fat and ugly, for she is our mother and if this is true of her it must be true of us. Children are like little sponges, they are constantly sucking up information and experiences. They learn more from our actions and words then what we tell them they should learn and know. If you want to break a pattern or Ancestral wound you must stop the behavior, whether that behavior is directed at yourself or another.
Healing ourselves Heals our Ancestors-
One of the most amazing things I have experienced with the Dead is how often they tell their family members they are working on healing. We all walk around thinking that when we die its over, like we suddenly get a one way ticket on a luxury cruise line. Not quite so I am afraid there is often still work to do. I like to tell people that if Uncle Louie was not that wise in life he most likely is not in death. The one bonus death gives to us is a dulling down of our emotions that often allows the Beloved Dead to process through things easier. That in not having all the mundane worries of life to deal with like working and paying bills. When we are Dead we still have to deal with ourselves, although we do have the added bonus of being all that we ever were..not just this incarnation (I personally believe in reincarnation). When we the living work on our families garbage, we make it easier for our Beloved Dead to heal as well. If we can break the pattern in our family line (our descendants) we also send deep healing to those who have come before us. This is a lot of work, but when faced with the thought of family dysfunction traveling generation after generation down the line what options do we as conscious living beings have but to do something about it.
Not all Ancestral wounds can be healed easily and from time to time it takes the help of others to get us there. Connecting to our Ancestors is a good way to start. First begin with honoring them, even if we are not happy with them they are part of us and we a part of them. Honor them for the beautiful soul they were before they were wounded. Place a picture of them on your alter or a shelf in your home. Light a candle for them often and ask that their soul find healing…for as they heal, we heal. If you are so called reach out for communication either directly or through the aid of a Medium. Be patient and remember LOVE is the answer.