It has been my honor to work in service with the Beloved Dead for over a decade. I have been a Medium my whole life, but started working professionally in this field after a major opening in which my Spirits insisted that I share my ability with those in need. I do consider it a need, after all the pain experienced from loosing a loved one can be overwhelming. In the years I have been doing Seances (sitting in reverence & communication with Spirits) I have experienced death in many guises. For some death was a dear friend who met them at the end of a long life, for others death came to visit too soon and unexpectedly. One of the things I have been experiencing more and more in my work is the realization that there is often unfinished business and open wounds left untended when someone dies. After all we don’t always have all our shit worked out when our time comes….we may have things left unsaid, battles not won and true pain left unhealed. This topic, that of the unhealed soul is due. With the death of Robin Williams, a most beloved star we are all sitting around and thinking about the people in our lives who have suffered with mental unbalance whether in the form of depression, addiction or abuse. When one we love dies while still suffering (either at their own hands or the hands of fate) we are often left with a deep feeling of guilt and a desire to do something.
It is not uncommon for my work as a Medium to involve counseling or mediation between the living and the Beloved Dead. In death our emotions get dulled down a bit, they are not as acute and overwhelming as they can be in life. We are also removed from the everyday stresses of life such as finances & health. We are able to sit back and look at the things we have experienced with a less critical lense. We also are blessed with the ability to see all that we are. I personally believe in re-incarnation and see that Spirits connect with all of their lives when they pass into Spirit. This helps because we are not just saddled with our latest life that may be filled with pain and failure. We are complete and full and more able to find balance. This does not mean we are suddenly free of the burdens we carried in our latest life. We still see ourselves through our living loved ones and witness how our actions have effected others and the love that people held for us. For some souls this is hugely important as they truly do not see their value or the love others have for them. This is particularly true for those who suffer from depression and addiction.
So how can we help?
Like I said…our Beloved Dead spend quite a bit of time watching over the ones they loved. When we give honor to them we are helping their souls to heal. When we talk to them, they hear us. If you feel weird about this then do it in your car where no one else can hear you. Talk to them. Tell them the good and the bad. They need to hear how they hurt you and the unspoken pain that you carried. They need to hear how much you worried about them, how much you hoped and still hope that their souls find peace. They need to know that their lives mattered to you. We can not fully express this if we are afraid to be real, if we sugar coat things and ignore our emotions. When we have watched a loved one destroy themselves with drug addiction, we suffer….we worry, we pray and we beg for them to find help. So speak to them often, talk to them of the good memories you have of them, the times when their light shined through so bright that their illness was dimmed for a time.
Another thing you can do is to set up a family alter. An alter is a sacred space, a place where we place our prayers and intentions. It does not have to be fancy, a simple shelf in your living room will work or the top of a dresser. The one thing that is important is that it is not a place to drop your shit. The only items that belong on an alter are items placed there intentionally. Pictures of your loved ones, personal items such as jewelry and knick knacks, mementos of who they were are the items you want to place on a family alter. I have a small alter in my kitchen behind the sink, on it I have a picture of my Dad, my great grandmother & my dear friend Adam (who is my doorman in the spirit world). I have other items there that are important to me and some that remind me of them….like the sexy pirate lighter my dad always preferred. These items help me to stay focused on the ones I love that have passed, they keep them fresh in my mind and in my prayers. I am fortunate in that none of these people died with unfinished business. If you have family members or loved ones who died with heavy hearts and deep wounding you can add a candle to your alter that you will light daily. It does not have to be any special color or shape, it is the flame that is the focus. Every morning when you wake take a few moments and light the candle…spend a minute or 5 looking at your alter, and sending love and healing to your wounded Spirits. Tell them how much you love them and that you are sending out energy that they may heal. You may spend that time however you like as long as you are conscious, aware and sending out loving energy. I personally like to sing so I might sing for them or tone to them. I treat my Beloved Dead as though they are real and still exist…BECAUSE THEY DO! The most wonderful thing you can do is be real with them, let them see you cry, let them hear your funny stories about them, the things you hold onto as memories and most of all the things you wish had been different between you. After all they are healing, they are still growing and developing their souls. Be genuine and do it often.