The loss of a loved one is emotionally trying at the best of times, but when there is no time for goodbyes it seems that much more so. In a perfect world we would all die with little suffering, surrounded by loved ones at the end of a long life. But Life isn’t perfect and very few of us get the perfect death.
One of the most common reasons people choose to communicate with their Beloved Dead (friends, family, loved ones and ancestors) is because they did not get a chance to say goodbye. By saying goodbye, I do not mean the simple greeting but the long version…the one that includes how much you loved the person, the unspoken things you wish you would have said, the forgiveness for past incidents that may need to be given. It makes me wonder why we wait to speak these things. I am not without my own incidents of such. I too have waited too long and not spoken the things my heart held as truth.
I like to believe that in my wisdom of age I have learned to speak my mind and heart. But when I was younger I lost more then one person without finding the ‘right time’. I never told them how special they were to me, how much they had influenced my life or how I would hold them dear to me for the rest of my life. I have regrets about not speaking these truths while they were still living. I ponder whether saying them out loud would have changed things, healed them and me or brought our relationships to deeper levels of understanding. As a Medium I am fortunate that I can speak to them now and I have had the opportunity to let them know how much they meant to me. But I have also learned not to wait until the last minute to do so.
Practice speaking your truth now. It is not always easy to hear or speak, but it is important. When we share with others what lies deep inside our soul we grow, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable makes us strong. It is true that not everyone is in a position to hear what we have to say, nor will they always receive it in a manner we are hoping for. When hardship and wrong doing lies between us the other party may not be in a position to hear what we have to say. But it is still important to say it. Why? Because the things we leave unspoken are the things that haunt us. I think an important part of this scenario is remembering to not become attached to an outcome. If you decide to tell your dear friend that you have always wanted more then friendship from them, do not fantasize a life with them…speak the words and allow them to process it. In the true nature of loving, love them with hopes that they love you back/not demands of such. If you have had a falling out with a family member and wish to clear the air…do so in a clear, concise & compassionate manner. Remember to use non violent communication and speak in a way that is not attacking. That does not mean they will be all peaches & sunshine, but it allows you the opportunity to say what needs saying. It is also important to remember that every story has many sides and yours is not exclusively right.
It is true that passing into Spirit gives us an easier time dealing with emotions; as they are turned down a notch or two, but there is nothing like communication in the hear and now. Speak your truth…let your love of others be known, clear up friction when you can and learn to live with less judgement. That does not mean you should let yourself be walked on, it simply means accept that others may choose to live differently then you. If their lifestyle is abrasive to you, you do not need to spend a bunch of time with them…but do not let years go by sitting on unspoken feelings. It causes much damage when sudden death shows up in our life.
I personally make a habit of telling people I love them often. Not just my family, but my friends as well. I also have been known for being a straight shooter when I feel wronged. I speak my piece and try to do so with as much integrity as I can. I am still human and not perfect by any means, but I strive in my life to have no regrets. I hope you have enjoyed the read Folks. Go out and tell someone you love them, share how much they have influenced your life and clean up the closets full of old wounds. Holding onto that shit offers nothing good to anyone.