People are often curious about my childhood and how unusual it must have been growing up Psychic. The interesting thing is to a child, life is what you know of it. You don’t really spend much time, wondering if other people do the same things as you, until you are well into your school years. For me it was not weird or unusual; to experience Psychic knowing, or feel the presence of a Spirit, as I grew up with a sister who was also Psychic, and a grandmother who presented it as perfectly normal. I never thought on my life as strange, or deferentiated between the ordinary things in my life and the not so ordinary. I believe that all children think deep thoughts, they just lack the vocabulary to express those thoughts to the adults around them. In general I believe children are more open to Psychic phenomenon, unfortunately their insights are often shut down by adults and peers who write them off as make believe.
When I was a child, my sister Sandy and I would sit in front of the mirror in our bedroom and talk to the people on the other side. This was not a childhood game of make believe, but an actual occurance. In fact sometimes we would even argue with the people who lived there. I have memories of these conversations from as early as 4 years old and lasting until I was about 8 or 9. As a child I never thought about who they were, I just know that they were familiar to me and I thought on them as friends. I now know that I was talking to my future self, as well as spirit guides.
I came to the conclusion that I was having conversations with myself after a series of events that happened in my life. The first happened when I was 4. At the time we were living in a trailor. From the top bunk of my bed, I could look across the living room into the kitchen, one night I saw a witch standing in the kitchen. You are very likely to respond to that statement in a couple of ways…how did you know it was a witch & are you sure it wasn’t your childhood imagination? The answer to both is I just knew. I was not afraid of the Witch, as she simply stood in the kitchen watching me as I watched her. I was however surprised that my parents didn’t see her, as my father was in the living room, and my mother was working in the kitchen. A big part of why I knew she was a real experience is because the memory never left me. Throughout my life I have thought of this experience more times then I can count.
The second experience that led me to understanding that I had been visiting myself happened about 10 years ago. My sister Sandy and I were in her back yard; I was communicating with a spirit for her when we both clearly heard my name being called from across the yard. This stopped both of us still, as we agreed completely that the voice we heard calling my name was my own. There was no one in the yard, the kids were all inside, and she had no near neighbors….we were completely alone, just us and the Spirits we were communing with. After this second major experience I really started putting some thought into the fact that at some point in my life I must have learned to communicate with myself through time. I learned this skill in my final year of my Druid training in October of 2010.
In the second to last weekend; of my 3 year course in Druidry, with the Green Mountain Druid Order, Ivan (my teacher) brought up the discussion of time travel. Now this was not time travel in the get in your Delorian kind of style, but in the sense of our human spirit doing the traveling. After he finished describing the exercise, he told us we could either do this journey at home, or in a group journey experience in which he would lead. I got really excited and shared how I had often felt that I must learn to time travel and about my experiences earlier in life. The rest of the group agreed that they too were interested in doing the exercise together. We lay down on blankets in the tepee, and began the journey work to meet with our selves. The goal was to engage in conversation with our future, and the past selves…as well as changing our consciousness to that of our future self, and past self in order to communicate with our present self as well…basically becoming all sides/angles of our being.
The first meeting was of my present with my future self. One of the most interesting things to me is that I always told myself “I love you”. My future, past and present all greeted each other with love. My future self told me things that I would do in my life, and things I must work on. Then I changed my consciousness to being in my future self and having my present self tell me something….this I thought was odd, because my present self said “ you are going to be sick for about 20 minutes”…I started thinking about how my body felt and what that meant, but we were soon onto another conversation. This time our present self with our child self. My child self told me that I had indeed been the “Witch in the kitchen”, and then showed me something that rocked my world. My child self went and sat down in front of the bedroom mirror, and there on the other side of the mirror clear as day was ME, as I look now. I was overcome at this point realizing that I had been communicating with myself when I was a child. As I was trying to wrap my mind around this my child self said “Why did you stop doing this?” It was made pretty clear to me that I needed to go back to doing mirror work.
When all the conversations were done we were guided to hold hands with ourselves, and decide if we wanted to say goodbye or to bring the other sides of our consciousness into our present. I decided to bring my child self and my elder self into my present. When we were called back to ordinary consciousness, Ivan asked if anyone needed rescue remedy (a bach flower essence to stabilize when your system is in shock), I said I did…took the essence and then lay on the ground. As I lay there unable to get off the ground, sobbing (something that happens to me when I have an energetic shift) feeling light headed and unstable…my words came back to me “You are going to be sick for about 20 minutes”. It was weird getting use to the visual shift, as I feel like I was looking at things through the eyes of a child from time to time with that lust for life and zest. I had many profound experiences in my Druid training, but the thing I think it most clearly gave me was an understanding of my self. Through journey work I have often revisited, things that happened to me as a child so that I could understand what the experience actually was. My child’s mind could not wrap itself around the fact that I was talking to a future incarnation of itself. As an adult talking to my child self I was able to recognize myself, giving clearity to the experience. Life is an adventure that I am thankful to explore. Hope you enjoyed the Read folks.