A few years ago, I was the speaker at a high school graduation, in a women’s prison. The women graduating were all incarcerated, on drug related offenses. Having been inside of a prison once before in my life, I was prepared for the claustrophobic trigger I would experience, walking through security lock gates and doors. Being Empathic, I had also prepared myself for the rush of emotion that would hit me as I stepped into the isolated world behind bars.
The graduation was held in the prison library, a place of empowerment for those seeking to better themselves, while serving time. As I was escorted there, I couldn’t help but think how lucky I was; how thankful I was for fresh air, walks through the woods, and dancing under the stars. Now, I am not stupid…I know that the people residing there, behind bars, were there because of their own actions. But as a Psychic, I can follow the threads of emotion, that lead to stories, that show clearly that nothing is simple. There is always a sad story, behind the actions leading to imprisonment.
Before meeting with the graduates, I first met with one of their advisers, who explained to me the situation the women would be facing, when they finally stepped out the door to freedom. Getting their education was a huge stepping stone to success, but they had many more hurtles to overcome. The women graduating did not just make a mistake, that landed them in the wrong place, at the wrong time…they came from families who sold drugs as a means of survival…that’s right survival. Returning to their world, would mean lots of temptation and expectation to pick up where they left off.
I have not thought about this experience for quite some time, but last night as laid in my comfy bed; all safe and secure, I thought about those women; who would have been freed by now. I thought about their challenges and whether or not they had the inner strength to make better choices and create healthier lives for themselves. You see, one of the biggest obstacles was their families. Many of them, had brothers, uncles, mothers and cousins who also sold drugs as a way of making a living, putting food on the table and yes, fulfilling their own need for said drugs. Walking out the prison doors, these women would be expected to step back into their role, and continue doing what their family does. To say “No, I don’t do that anymore”, would be seen as a judgement on their families, and in many cases ostracize them.
The story of the women I met in prison is a bit extreme, but any time we step up & create a better life for ourselves, we feel the pangs of separation. I have seen this a lot lately when doing Psychic Readings, and perhaps it is the reason I find myself remembering those brave women; who were determined to improve upon their life story. We all want to belong, particularly to our family. Even if our family is fucked-up shit, we want to feel that connection. Part of self improvement is understanding that there will be an adjustment period for those that know and love us, and for some the changes we make will be too hard for them to relate to. People are creatures of habit, and we crave pattern and ‘normal’. When we change ourselves, it is often difficult for people who knew the old us, to relate. In part, it is because when we change, we act as a mirror for those that interact with us. If we have improved our way of being, others are sometimes threatened by this…wondering how they should act around us, or if we are now judging them, expecting them to change. It is one of the reasons why I always tell people to talk about what they are learning with their partner, do not wait until you have it all figured out and then spring a new way of being on them. Give them hints along the way, show them you are making changes, and have patience. After all, we generally are stewing over making change, long before we take action.
We also need to understand that personal improvement is a path of power, and walking a path of power is kind of like going on adventure. It will have moments when you feel lonely, moments when you hunger for comfort and that old comfy chair, it will mean letting go of that which does not serve us anymore, and saying goodbye to the people who cannot hold space for us any longer. But do not be discouraged, because like adventure, personal improvement also means seeing great beauty, experiencing wonder and awe, and walking forward changed by the delicious experiences we have had. It also means creating new relationships, relationships with ourselves and others who support us, and appreciate the power we walk in. It is the ability to step free of the Imprisonment of our Spirit.
I know change is hard, but for most of us change is not as hard as walking out the doors of prison into a family that expect you to go back to your destructive ways. Take heart, be brave and remember it’s your life…live it fully, with bravery and love. I hope you enjoyed the read Folks.