February is a month that immediately brings love to our minds. Valentine’s day dominates the short month with its proclamations of emotional commitment and adoration, it stirs the heartstrings of those of us lucky enough to be engaged in loving relationships and vomits feelings of loneliness and despair on the rest of us.
I am amongst the fortunate, as I have been happily married to my husband for 26 years this February. I thank the powers that be every time I do Spirit Communication for someone who has lost their spouse, particularly when working with someone who was married much longer than my mear 26 years.
To know deep, true love is to experience one of the greatest treasures that exist in our reality. When we find someone who’s wyrd flows & dances with the intricacies of our wyrd, we know what it is to have a soulmate. Soulmates are not something reserved for ancient memories, other lifetimes, and reincarnation. We can form new relationships as soulmates in any life we live in. To be a soulmate is to share a deep personal connection, that goes beyond words, beyond emotions, it is a connection that remains when the body is no more. It is a connection that waits and recreates itself, again and again, allowing us to know one another on deeper and deeper levels.
When our soulmate dies; whether we spent decades in this life together or days, we feel as if a part of our soul has also left this reality. We find ourselves confused as if our internal compass no longer knows where to find home. This loss never completely goes away, but it turns to something beautiful and melancholy over time, like a love song you enjoy listening to and crying.
In time, we find a new normal, in which we can make space for our Beloved Dead/soulmate. This happens by creating patterns, and rituals that give us boundaries for communication. Sacred space such as altars of remembrance are great ways to create healthy patterns with our dead. Talking to the ones we love in spirit is normal and is a part of spiritual practices around the world. When a soul crosses the veil (barrier between life & death), they can see & hear us quite clearly. It is more difficult for us, in the living world to perceive the ones we love in spirit. Repetition, such as always talking to our dead in the same location (the kitchen, near their altar, at the graveyard, etc.) makes it easier for us to feel our Beloved Dead. They know to come to us at these places, and using the same locations creates an energetic pattern over time making communication easier. Remember thought matters, therefore telling ourselves we communicate in the kitchen, makes the kitchen a good place to communicate. For this reason, I recommend comfortable places, particularly the kind of spaces your soulmate would like to hang around.
It is often these bonds; the ones with deep feelings of intimate love, that create the most lasting spirit relationships. These relationships are often so close that the living partner may take on some of the dead partner’s traits, beliefs or interests. This is not limited to relationships with spirits we had spousal relationships, in fact hanging around with the same spirit for long periods of time is much like hanging around with a friend for a long period of time, we pick up each other’s habits. I have seen this in my relationship with Adam (my doorman/spirit guide), in fact when I first submitted writing to my editor; while writing my book Jump Girl, my editor noted that my writing was good, but I wrote like a journalist. Adam was a journalist!
Soulmates exist beyond death, and although we are not limited to one, when we do get the opportunity to have a life with one of these treasures of reality, we need to cherish it. Remember to stare deeply at the one you love, do this often, allowing your senses to absorb all of who they are. For these will someday be memories more precious than gold. May we all be blessed with the ability to see each day as our last, so that we can savor that which is in front of us.
For those of you who have experienced the deep loss associated with losing a soulmate/partner, know that you are amongst the most fortunate in this world, to have experienced such beautiful love. Your loss as deep as it may seem holds nothing to the light that shows in your memories.