Wake up Calls…

I feel tired today.  I feel like I want to cry.  The tears welling up inside me cannot be pushed down or told to go away, for they are made of deep, lonely, heartbreaking things, filled with fear, confusion, and grief.  The emotions that fill me are not mine alone, but the coagulated smeg of a culture staring at its own poor decisions.

I don’t feel this way often, as for the most part, I am an optimist.  I believe I knew what I was getting into when I signed on for this ‘tour of duty’ or ‘life’ as it is more often put, but there are days when even my sunshiny viewpoint is obscured with ‘what if’s’ & ‘what the fucks’; times when I wonder what the point of it all is and whether we can change anything or are just here to watch the ship go down.

I know this is not the usual inspiring words you are expecting to hear from me, the ones that put you at ease and make you feel like things will turn out ok in the end.  But it is important to see all sides of the story, and in a sense feel all sides of it.  We can’t deny our fear for denying it is a fool’s game, it keeps us from seeing what we are truly up against.

We are living in changing times, we have reached a point where you have to be a complete idiot to not believe in Climate Change/Disruption.  I mean today 5′ of snow, hail & ice fell in Mexico…in July!  We see signs of it every day on the television, the internet and in our own worlds, and on a shared emotional wavelength we are all scared.

So what do we do?

In moments of my life when I feel afraid I hear my fathers voice speaking to me in my head.  He is usually saying one of two things…“Bravery is going forward in the face of fear”, or “You don’t want to go down like a punk”.  The first has a response saying “Having no fear makes you a fool”.  The second statement was my dad’s way of saying ‘we don’t give up!’  I think about these things often, and know that I chose my father well even if some of the lessons were less then pleasant.  He taught me what it meant to be a warrior, to be a person of strength, and how to stand tall even when the odds were against me.  After all, if you’re going to go down, go down knowing you did everything in your power to stay up.

We are not living without hope, for the thing about impending doom is that it creates genius!

Along with all the horrific things flashed through our news feeds each day there are other less noticeable things happening, things that are not getting as much attention as they should. The news channels don’t want to cover inspiring stories, because the advertisers won’t get as much compulsive spending out of viewers watching pieces on  how oyster farming is growing in popularity; due to the amount of carbon they pull from the water, or how they are extracting carbon from the air in Iceland and transforming it into Basalt (rock).  The truth is, fearful things unsettle us to the point that we seek comfort in whatever way we can, often through unhealthy choices such as drug use, excessive shopping, gambling, etc.  Fear is big business…

When we focus our lens on what we can do…reuse, reduce, recycle, conserve, grow, share, educate, pray, meditate, etc.  we stop feeling quite as hopeless.  On the days like today where I feel like I don’t want to look at the positive, I sit with it, acknowledge my feelings and then ask myself what I plan on doing with those fears.  I then remember my father’s stories of standing up with half his face blown off, fighting his way to a helicopter and safety.  I remember stories told by my grandmother of living through the depression; lying under piles of blankets with her children when there was hardly any food and not much for heat.  I remember moments in my own life when I thought I would lose my house during the housing market collapse, and I remember that in all of those moments there was nothing to do for any of us, then keep on doing our best to survive, have hope and thrive.

My husband is a stoic kind of guy, and his view is also comforting in its own way.  He often says ‘God doesn’t care about our comfort, he/she is more concerned with our character’.  This quote is another I repeat when I feel the weight by hard times.  I focus on the character of a person I want to be.  Who do I want to be remembered as?  If I were a fictional character in a book, how would I want to act, do, be in any given situation?  It helps me get out of feeling sorry for myself and makes me realize I am living in exciting times, times that will be hard no-doubt, but times when wonders can be made and our actions matter.  Seeing myself as a hero/heroine in my own story empowers me.

Do not give up hope, do not turn to vices that make your life harder.  Yes, it’s hard, but there are things we can do to help us regulate our emotions and thoughts far more efficiently than habits that create more problems.  This is the time to pick up all our old tricks; go back to our yoga mat, sit in meditation, walk in the woods, sing, dance, create sacred art, tell stories, create daily rituals that keep us aware in this time of change.  We must focus our minds, create networks of like-minded people, get to know our farmers, healers, builders, thinkers, and spiritual leaders.  We need to become the co-creators we were intended to be, for that is where our salvation truly lies.   We are powerful beyond our belief. If we were to focus collectively on healing ourselves and our planet, we would see miracles.  We need to become unified, not torn apart by our ‘differences’, for the truth of the matter is we all share one thing in common, we are Earthlings.  WE NEED TO WAKE UP!

Becoming a co-creator in one’s own life starts with focusing our mind.  We need to really think about what matters to us, what world we want to see, and then put ourselves into it whole-heartedly.  Quantum physics has proven that thought matters, that what we focus on we draw to us.  I like to put it this way…when we spend our time thinking about what we do not want to happen, it’s like we are standing at the lunch-counter of life ordering it.

Right now, most of us spend many hours a day with a low-level feeling of fear and anxiety, often fueled by the media.  Looking at it this way, it’s easy to see how we feel hopeless, defeated and doomed.  We are telling ourselves this every day, enforcing it with the help of media every time we turn on the television or look at our newsfeed.  We should not blind ourselves to the truth of our world, but we need to make sure the ‘truth’ we are viewing gives us the whole picture, not just the profitable one fueled by fear. We also have to stop using convenience as an excuse not to do our part.  If you’re not recycling, reducing, reusing because it’s too much work, you might want to think about how much work we will have if we don’t start doing our part.  This is the kind of procrastination we cannot afford.

I do not want to leave you with a feeling of doom or despair, I want you to think about where your emotions and feelings really lie.  I want you to ask yourself what you are doing to make it better; no matter how small of an act, it all adds up.  I want you to join me in helping others wake up.  I want you to cocreate hope with me.  I want you to remember that like me, you chose to come in at this time and be a co-creator in a time when the world really needs us.  After all…who wants to go down like a punk?

 

spreading love-salicrow

Advertisements

Exceptional Moments of Spirit…

I was in Montpelier yesterday, having breakfast with a dear friend who is going through a tremendous opening & healing.  This was something she asked for; something she cultivated & strove for, as she peeled away layer upon layer of emotional debris that kept her from her truth.  Guided by a dedication to bettering herself & allowing her true light to shine, she stepped fully into her wyrd (connection with fate) and yesterday I got to experience a bit of it myself.

WYRD-connected to Fate

When we are going through profound moments of shift, the web of wyrd appears to vibrate around us,  synchronicities abound as the Universe and our personal Spirits seem to be doing everything in their power to ensure we get the message.  It is as if the weavers of fate are spinning the web directly around the recipient, and all who come close to the person get glimpses of what it’s like to dance with creation, it is true magic!  I have experienced these moments both as the person who the web is vibrating around and as a personal witness to someone else’s Wyrd.  Either way, it is awe inspiring.  Yesterday was no exception.

We met in Montpelier, a central location as we were both making unexpected time in our busy schedules.  Like all things connected to fate, it came together quickly and with ease.  When we are going through deep healing & opening often we can get what we need simply by putting it out to the Universe.  I find the straight forward approach to work well “I am in need of some balancing, grounding support, I need time for this, I need space for this”, and there seems to surface a minor reprieve from the deep work, a short hiatus to recollect our thoughts before diving in for more.

The synchronicities began for me as soon as the date was proposed.  My appointments shifted easily, the day opened for me and I was on my way.  I had experienced such things before, so I knew it should be an interesting day and I was not only eager to see my friend and hear her story so far, but to see what kind of magical bits sprung up throughout the day.  The first noticeable omen came in the form of numbers.  After eating a delicious breakfast while my friend told me her miraculous tale (she brought her’s home in a to-go box…too much to say for eating) we left to put money in the meters before we both ended up with tickets.  We walked to her car first, passed by it actually, so deep in conversation that we had walked past her car until it yelled at her.  By this I mean spirit spoke up through the distraction with a quick “hey, your car is back here”.  We turned around laughing as she explained how she was happy she was with me, as I would understand her saying that her car yelling at her.  As she added more money to the meter we were talking about the synchronicities that had been occurring in her life, with money added we couldn’t help but go ‘huh’, as the time on the meter now equaled 1:11.

Omen-an event of prophetic importance

Laughing about how the Universe works, we headed back the other direction to where my car was parked.  Deep in conversation, spirit reminded us once again, as I also walk past my car only to hear Adam say “your car is over there Sali”.  Crossing the street and putting money in the meter, again the time came out to 1:11.  Now the interesting thing is we may not have had those times appear if we had not walked by our vehicles.  The distraction was actually part of the magic, allowing us to arrive at the scene not once, but twice to receive a divine confirmation that wyrd stuff was taking place.  This number sequence persisted when we walked to the statehouse lawn and noticed that the building next to it boldly carried the address of 111, and again when my friend returned to her car with 11 minutes on the meter, and when I was thinking about our experience on my way home and noticed the clock read 1:11.

Numbers are my thing, or at least one of them.  I have worked with Numerology for most of my adult life and am always breaking down numbers, noticing master numbers and sequences as part of how I perceive psychic information.  Traditionally in numerology numbers are added together and broken down until they reach a single digit (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9).  The exception, however, is Master Numbers.  Master numbers are produced when the digit breaks down to a repetition of the same number 11, 22, 33, 44.  We can also witness these powerful energetic codes in the repetitive form of clocks…2:22, 11:11, 5:55 or as we did yesterday 1:11.  Master numbers hold more energetic impact than regular numbers, their lessons are bigger and they demand more attention.  Often when we see repetitive numbers such as our clock showing 4:44 it is the universe or our spirit team giving us a heads up to pay attention, that what we are thinking about or doing is very important.  The number itself must also be taken into consideration, for each number has a different energetic code. 

For those of you interested in the study of Numerology, keep an eye out for my workshop coming in June, and check out some of my other blogs around the subject like this one https://salicrow.wordpress.com/category/numerology/

The meaning of 1:11- 1:11 resonates at a high vibration, similar to 11 or an empowered 1.  It is a number that reminds us something big is starting; that we are connected with our purpose, and that we are working with personal karma.  Carrying the energy of beginnings, it has presented itself in our life to help us move into our new self, leaving behind that which holds us back.  It carries the power of stepping onto the path of one’s truth, and the ability to open psychic doors to our true self.

One of the other wyrd-anomalies that happened yesterday was a quick gift for me; a reminder that I too was swimming in the cosmic wake that surrounded my friend and her wyrd experience-I knew my friend and I  would only be able to spend a few hours together, and Montpelier is about an hour and a half drive for me, so on the way over, I started thinking about how I wanted to catch up with another friend from the area whom I missed dearly.  I started thinking I would drive out to her house after breakfast on the off chance I would get to see her as well.  These thoughts kept coming up on my drive until I was determined I would do my best to connect with her.  After breakfast, when I was scuttling about with my friend, putting money in meters and talking about the wyrd synchronicities that were popping up, we crossed paths with the other friend whom I had planned to go see… As we were talking away, a car came to a stop at the crosswalk along our path, and who should it be…but the very friend I had been thinking about on the ride over.  I was so excited to see her, for not only did it save me a trip out of my way (she was heading out of town), but it was a huge shout out to the powers of magical manifestation that take place when we are in such moments of karmic growth.  I told her I had been thinking about her the entire way over and that my intention had been “I just want to see her, even if it’s just for a minute”.  Wish granted!  

I love how magical life can be, and how clearly the universe is speaking to us when we gain the ability to listen.  It is not always flashy, ‘holy shit’ moments.  But the universe and our spirits are constantly reaching out to us.  I was honored to bear witness to my friend’s healing & growth and had a great time playing in the magical wake of her deep dive with fate.

Exceptional Moments of Spirit are those times when the world itself seems to be speaking to us as if we are the main character in a big play.  These times slow down, speed up, stand still and out of time and space.  For most people, these flashes of fate are triggered by deep emotional catalysts, like death, birth, reunions, and marriages.  For those on the spiritual path, they come more often and are usually connected to the moments in which we are actively growing as a soul.  It is important in such times to be kind to ourselves, take rest when it presents itself and surrounds ourselves by those that support us.  This is not a time for hanging out with the challenging aspects and people of our life, we need to make our circle small and strong in such times, remembering that we will reemerge a different person in many ways.  If you are going through such a time, get some body work…Reiki, massage, sound healing.  These all help to bring balance into our lives and help us let go of that which is holding us back.  My personal experience with such growth is documented in my book ‘JUMP GIRL, the initiation and art of a spirit speaker’, which a memoir of my life.  You can find it here https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/562306/jump-girl-by-salicrow/9781623171926/

Thanks for reading folks, may your path be filled with magic, spiritual growth, and love…stay Wyrd!

spreading love-salicrow

Stories of Spirit…Love in a hateful world

I admit that sometimes I too am overwhelmed by the darkness that seems to be settling on our world.  At times it feels as if we are being pulled into a hateful ravine of ‘other’, in which society functions with the foremost thought being “Everyone who does not think exactly like me must be sinister, wrong & evil.”  This thought process has everyone walking on eggshells, expecting that at any moment they are going to say/do something that offends someone, or someone is going to say/do something that offends them.  Add to this an underlying fear from global climate change and the abyss can seem all-consuming.

In this time of global chaos, I chose every day to be a light in the darkness.  I center my mind and remember that I may not have a choice in how others/the larger world acts, but I do have a choice in how I personally present myself, and I chose LOVE along time ago.

My belief system is deeply rooted in the concept of ‘thought effects outcome‘; manifestation is in my blood.  I have been aware of my own ability to affect the world around me for a long time, and am quickly reminded of my ability when I let my thoughts go to anger & despair.  When I let myself sit in those feelings, the world around me does it’s best to prove to me how right I am; how fucked up and stupid human beings are and how there is no hope.  But you know what?  When I focus on love & abundance I see those things everywhere I go as well.  I prefer to live in a world in which happiness exists!

I believe none of us are here by chance, we are here at this moment in time, when the world is changing dramatically because we chose to be agents of change.  Each and every one of us is responsible for being the best version of self that we can at this moment of exponential growth.  Our consciousness is waking, evolving, and with that comes many aches and pains as growth is seldom easy.  We need to start acknowledging our thoughts, both conscious and unconscious.  It’s time to clean up our minds!

I am not saying that we must forgo drinking, smoking, and naughty (nudge-nudge, wink-wink) thoughts, I am saying we must clean up the continuous negative banter of our mind.  The outdated dogma that tells us we are eternally flawed and lacking in what is necessary for happiness, success, and love.

The first step to cleaning up one’s mind is to track its behavior… This is easiest done with the aid of a journal or notepad.  For a full day take note of any negative thought that crosses your mind, be thorough but quick, if we make it too tedious most of us won’t do it.  Simply, jot down the basic idea of the thought, was it directed at yourself or others, was it something you recognize as a frequent flyer?  Did it carry emotion with it, and if so what was the dominating emotion felt?

After spending a day critically looking at our thoughts, most of us are going to be awe-stricken by the sheer amount of negativity we express daily.  I know, as I have done this very thing, only mine was not done with a notepad it was done with the voice of ‘other/spirit’ keeping track of my pissy brain rants; the majority of which were directed at myself.  When I became aware of how much of my energy I was wasting or worse yet manifesting things I definitely did not want with, I was stunned and immediately could see how such things were affecting my life.

Our brains are like super-computers, and like computers they get viruses.  In the case of our mind, the viruses are often negative brain patterns, things we say over and over again, in the forms of self-abuse and entitlements.  If we examine these thoughts closely, following the strands of their being, we will find that the original seed of thought was not placed there by ourselves, but by others.  No child comes into this world believing they are ugly, stupid, or worthless, these thoughts are created by things outside our own belief.

When the thought demons we fight are not our own flogging, but a deeper fear, a fear of the darkness that is set on the planet, of climate change, political unrest, and world changes.  For these things, we must take comfort in the knowledge that we chose to come at this time of great change, and we must ask ourselves how we can be the best version of ourselves at this time.  For when we shine our light bright we do make a difference in the world.  It may be just a little one, but a lot of little lights can be brilliant.  Plus, who wants to go down like a punk?

spreading love-salicrow