As a Medium, I meet a lot of people after they are dead, and in doing so I often get to experience the wisdom they have gleaned after crossing into the world of Spirit. People/souls do not stop growing and learning when their body stops functioning. Death is not only a place of rest, but a place of healing and growth. In death we review the lessons we have learned in life, from the vantage point of the observer. We not only see our actions played out for us to review, but are able to see how we effected the world around us. We can shift perspective to bear witness to how those around us loved us, and why those who hurt us, did so.
The idea of spending the afterlife reviewing the events of this life, can be daunting to some people. If our life is one of pain and struggle the last thing we would ask of Death, would be to watch our life over and over again. But the universe is kind, and we are not sentenced to review the experience in it’s emotional fullness.
One of the gifts of Death, is that is that the volume level of our emotions is turned down significantly.
Imagine your emotions could be adjusted, like the volume on a stereo. One is so low, that you really need to be paying attention to feel at all. While, ten is so loud that the only thing we can do is experience our emotions. Most people go through life with their emotional volume set at about 4-5, allowing them to experience things through their emotions, while still focusing on other things. Some however, have the volume set way above the comfort level; around 7-10, and are forced to go through life with their emotions taking front stage, every moment. Unfortunately, the volume in which we experience emotions in life is not easily adjusted.
Traumatic events can jar the volume control of our emotions, leaving many of us to walk through life with a concert of emotions distracting us, and overwhelming us.
I hesitate before continuing my writing, wondering if my words could somehow make people see death as a cozy alternative to life. That people who struggle with their own world; their living existence, may find the idea of their emotions being turned down, an inviting option. In fact the idea that my words may be misinterpreted almost made me trash this blog article completely. I am a firm believer that people do their best healing while still alive, and that we have come into this existence to experience and grow. When we cut our life short, we are often required to experience similar events in our next life, so that our consciousness may expand.
Death is a place of review. With the volume turned down, we can experience things that may have escaped us in life. We become aware of the why of situations. If we had an abusive parent, we are able to see the situation from their perspective. Witnessing their struggle, self-hatred, and the abuse that they experienced. We get the back story on every moment that effected us in life. With the emotions turned down, we can look at these moments with clarity. The experience being more like watching a show on television, then living it out as our story. This perspective often gives people a better understanding of themselves. They know what they could have done differently, as well as the key moments that triggered damage in their psyche. This adjusted view of ones life, is more noticeable when a soul has had a while in deaths domain.
Another interesting fact, that should be noted, is that coming in contact with a Medium turns the volume back up again temporarily. The Medium makes the experience of communication, more real or life like, for the dead. This is why it is a good idea to give the Spirit a bit of time for healing, if they have died traumatically or by their own actions. A good Medium will use their guides to intervene, or stand between them and the dead, in these cases. When I work with Spirits that have experienced trauma in death (from another or themselves), my doorman Adam is a necessity. He often stands between me and the Spirit, they speak to him, and he passes the message onto me. This is a simple way of keeping the volume level in tact, for Spirits who are still deeply in their healing process.
The time in between lives, is when our Spirit heals and recaps the lessons of our last life, as well as the lives we have experienced thus far. In death we become all that we are. Becoming whole; all that we are, helps a soul to heal and become more. For we can add the experiences of the life we just lived to the mix of that which we have already been. In death we exist as our ‘higher self’, the self that is us with all of its parts. Every life time lived adds to that which we are, our heartaches and sorrows are just as important as our achievements and loves.
The soul is a complex thing, one that is ever evolving. We need to be patient with ourselves, and patient with those who suffer in ways that we cannot understand. Recognizing that people can feel emotions at different degrees of volume, helps us to comprehend how the same situation can effect different people, in dissimilar ways, providing insight in regards to depression and anxiety.
How can we learn to dial down our emotional response while living?
This is a tricky one, and there is no one answer for everyone. I am not a psychiatrist, and by no means am I suggesting you step out of the care of your counselor, if you have one. I am simply trying to shed some light onto the subject of emotional volume, as shown to me by the Dead.
Mediation is helpful… Learning how to center ourselves when the world around us is moving really fast, and our emotions are screaming at us is invaluable. I prefer to use Sound in my meditation, often focusing on my own voice as I ‘tone’. Vocal Toning is the extension of vocal sounds, particularly focused on the sound of vowels, and harmonics. It is pretty simple and requires no choir skills. Vowel sounds are considered sacred in many cultures. Prolonged vocal toning has a peaceful effect on both the energetic and physical body. (For all you local folks, interested in learning Sound Mediation, I offer a weekly class on Tuesday nights at my studio in Lyndonville, VT).
Whether you feel drawn to sound healing/mediation, or simple breath exercises, mediation is something that works better with practice. The more often we do it, the more easily we can slip into its gentle, peaceful embrace.
Mantras work...Mantras are simple statements, we repeat in order to create interpersonal change. They work best if kept to 4-5 words. When the stress of the world ways heavy on your brain, and your mind is spinning on its personal hamster wheel from hell, simply repeat your mantra 5 or 6 times. Example…I am at peace with myself. When you do, you will find your mind pauses, steps away from the hamster wheel for a moment. The thoughts that haunt you will come back, but again go to your mantra, repeating it over and over again until your mind finds its quiet place. The more often you handle your mind-fuck with the simple compassion of a mantra, the less often it will come around.
The biggest lesson I have learned from the Dead, is that life is worth living. When we die, we miss the simple things of life…the taste of our favorite food, the smell of our favorite flowers, the color of the sky, the richness of textures we feel through touch, the embrace of our lovers and friends. These are the things that come up, over and over again when I connect with the dead, even the ones who suffered in life.